How can your relationship survive tough times and flourish during a crisis?

Sooner or later, every relationship becomes challenged by the rough patches in life. Keeping the love alive during times of crisis is a pivotal moment for every couple that decides whether the relationship will flourish or wither! The most important thing in such situations is to gear yourself up with patience and love when there is a conflict arising so that you can keep a clear judgment on the situation, which is not fuelled by the negative feelings of anger or desperation. 

To this day, one of the biggest questions that keep people sleepless at night is how to tell apart a rough patch in the relationship from the fundamental incompatibility between two people, who have different coping mechanisms and motivation to reconcile their connection with the other person during a time of crisis. 

Since the early days, we as human beings have been faced with all sorts of hardships and challenges that were testing our ability to survive as a species. So far, we have resisted the test of time thanks to our critical thinking and the skill to apply our rationality in times of crisis, despite the brewing emotions within us. This explains partly why relationships go through rough patches when the person is influenced mainly by their feelings (often negative ones) rather than their logic. 

The fear of our survival, the ability to cope with stress, and our natural resilience as human beings have largely shaped life, and the way we see and experience it today.

Unfortunately, though, this inherent feeling of fear in us that has kept people alive for many millennia is the single biggest reason for our insecurities, anxieties, negativity, and ultimately, our inability to maintain a relationship strong through the doom and gloom.

It is commonplace for people to enter into a conflict with their romantic partner when they are governed entirely by their emotions, rather than their critical thinking. This is a very important realization that can impact the health of every relationship and individual on a deeply personal level. 

Now, you are probably thinking about how these detrimental feelings can be overcome so that your relationship comes out stronger during the crisis and the challenges you are faced as a team?

Also, another important question that you can address in this article and find your answer to is whether your relationship is worth your energy and whether you need to persevere through the tough times if you believe that you’ve found your soul mate in life.   

The good news is that dealing with difficulties, triggered by crisis situations, is totally normal and natural when two people are sharing their lives together. That’s exactly why it is so important for people to create the right mindset, which will allow them to face the crisis with confidence and compassion, so they can keep their relationship thriving, as well as their own selves. 

In this blog, we are discussing the main drivers of conflict during crisis, and some effective ways to keep the love alive even if there are powerful emotions and struggling involved. 

How can your relationship survive tough times and flourish during a crisis?

Communication is key

Good communication is the key to keeping every relationship healthy and this is definitely not a cliché! Each person is programmed to think and act differently as individuals, who have different biology and psychology from one another. This practically means that going through the rough patches stronger as a couple requires both people to be fully invested in the relationship and the process of understanding their partner’s needs at every stage of the journey. 

It is however more easily said than done when it comes to maintaining healthy communication and staying patient during tough times. Most people find it hard to be in charge of their emotions and to provide their partner with understanding when their feelings are bubbling under the influence of stress. 

It has been proven that showing compassion and moral support to your significant other can improve their mental health when they are going through a difficult period in their lives. This can ultimately boost your connection and the stability of your relationship. To make this happen, people need to be able to recognize the anxiety and the insecurities as emotional outbursts, which will eventually go away with continuous communication and understanding of everyone’s fears in a conflict situation. 

A handy way of practicing your patience and healthy communication during arguments is using more sentences, starting with “I” rather than “You”. For instance, if a person tends to blame their partner for not doing something or not meeting their expectations, they can shift their perspective around, and drop the negativity in their speech for more positive affirmations, whilst addressing of their needs to the other partner with straightforwardness (Example: I love you and I know that you want us to spend a lot of time together but I am going through a lot of stress at the moment and I need to spend the night alone in my thoughts).

The more often you practice good communication, the fuller your romantic account becomes with love, patience, and understanding. Denial, accusations, and comparisons should be entirely eliminated in your conversations during crisis in place of moral support and acknowledging the positives in the situation. By doing so, you are way more likely to help your partner open up and share with you their insecurities without any anger. You can also practice positive communication when you take time to compliment your significant other about their achievements and good qualities when they are feeling low or insecure (Example: I know what you are going through and I am right by your side; I know you are suffering and you are not alone in this; You are doing great. I am so proud of you).

Personal space in times of crisis

One of the most key lessons that we’ve learned from the COVID-19 pandemic is the importance of having some personal space in a relationship when the times are tough. Millions of couples around the world during this period were faced with financial uncertainty, fear, and confusion as the life and the emotional comforts they previously knew were gone for long. That challenged many people’s ability to communicate well in a relationship and their ways of keeping their own well-being at the same level of importance as that of their partner. 

People often tend to enmesh with their loved ones and lose track of the boundaries between their emotional worlds. Often times they think that they hold the power to solve their partner’s problems by giving them helpful tips, which may in fact land poorly with the other person. This could easily end up in a conflict that every couple should be able to survive with continuous communication and respect for each other’s personal space.

It does not matter whether the crisis is triggered by a pandemic, family loss, or bankruptcy. In every one of these situations, a person needs to rage, be sad and express their emotions, so that they can come back renewed with more love and appreciation. 

Remember that you are not the counselor in your relationship that needs to navigate everything in the murky waters of crisis. Instead, you should be the only one that your partner turns to when they are feeling vulnerable and they need some practical advice. This way, your ability to make the other person feel comfortable in your company even when they are not at their best will show your good communication skills and guarantee you a promising future as a happy person in an established relationship.  

How can your relationship survive tough times and flourish during a crisis?

Different phases of love and managing crisis

In psychology, experts consider there to be 7 phases, which couples go through in their long-term relationships from the beginning until the end. These phases are typical of the way partners communicate and express their feeling toward one another.

If you recognize yourself in any of those phases, you may find it easier to adjust to change which happens naturally in a relationship over time or as a result of a crisis. All of these have the power to test your romantic partnership and affect the future course of your mutual life together.

Phase 1: Passion

At the beginning of their relationship, people are often overpowered by their passion and desire for one another. This can make them less inclined to reveal their negative qualities, even during a tough time.

At this phase, you can take time to think carefully about whether this person shares your core values in life, and you are not clouded by the strong emotions in both of us.

Phase 2: Uncovering

This phase usually takes place within the first year of the relationship and it is the time when partners start to get to know each other a lot further, away from the love cloud, characteristic of the initial phase.  

To pass this phase successfully, you need to be able to accept the good and the bad things about your partner without judging them and letting the differences between you take over.

Phase 3: Communication and dedication

After you have moved passed the process of acceptance and compromise, you reach the point of deep commitment and dedication to the relationship. During this phase, people could also become bored and lose interest in their partners.

To survive Phase 3 you need to keep your communication consistent and honest. It’s extremely important to listen to the other person and to shorten the distance between you each and every day, rather than widen it.

Phase 4: Who has the lead?

There always comes a point in relationships when one or the other person starts to dominate slightly (consciously or not). This dynamic can bring about serious conflicts if there is suppression of feelings such as anger and worry. 

In this phase like any of the other six phases, partners need to show understanding for each other’s needs by respecting their opinions and emotions. This requires deep acceptance that differences exist and both people should be treated as equal. 

Phase 5: Newfound stability and mutual growth    

Studies have shown that around 20 years after getting married, most couples find true stability and fulfillment in their relationships. Even though it may seem like a rather lengthy period to hold onto in order to feel happy with your partner, this phase is actually the natural progression of all 4 phases before that. Only after you spend long enough time together and you endure plenty of difficulties as a team, do two people have the capacity to renew their love and establish comfortable stability for the rest of their time together. 

During this period, it is important to stay connected to one another by finding new things in common such as hobbies and leisure activities. 

Phase 6: Mature romanticism 

This is the phase during which most people mature spiritually as individuals in a relationship. They start to perceive their love differently, which can either bring them closer together or alienate them altogether. 

During Phase 6, couples should make sure they communicate often with each other and they continue to keep their long-lasting romantic love alive despite their personal growth journeys as separate persons. Maturing the love even further can happen if partners make time to date and show their appreciation for one another.

Phase 7: Crisis situations 

This phase comes into play at many different stages of life in relationships. Tough times of crisis can challenge every partnership regardless of people’s compatibility and shared goals.

There is a popular quote that goes like that: “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.”

In other words, reacting to crisis situations with anger, negativity, and blame can only escalate your problems further instead of solving them effectively every time a new one comes up.  

Good communication is the foundation of deep and committed relationships and everyone has the ability to practice it when challenges take place in your life as a couple.

To learn more useful insights about how to keep your love alive, do not hesitate to get in touch with Next Level Love right away.

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