How do we know that the relationship might be more serious than just sexual?

Many of the ladies I work with have faced this question more than once. Once they start a relationship with a new man the thought often creeps in as to whether he is ready for a serious relationship or just wants to sleep with them.

This dilemma begins once you have already slept together. Ladies take this act seriously and often define it as the beginning of the relationship. With gentlemen, things are not like that. For them, sex is not an emotional act and having slept with a lady does not make her the choice of their heart. Many men take advantage of the fact that ladies take sex more seriously to sleep with them again and again until they get bored.

Ladies on the other hand start to think that this is the beginning of a relationship. They try to read between the lines and hope to see signs there that ensure that the guy they are seeing is ready to embark on a serious relationship.

In rarer cases, the man declares from the start that he is only looking for a sexual relationship. This puts the choice in front of the woman as to whether she is ready to embark on a mere sexual relationship without investing emotions and hopes that it might grow into a serious commitment. Even if these are not the best men, they are still sincere about their intentions to the woman and openly state that they are not looking for anything more than just a sexual relationship.

Every situation is different, but I will now share with you a universal rule of thumb on how to know that the intentions of the man you are dating exhibits more serious intentions.

If you see each other at least twice a week for a month and it doesn’t end in sex every time, then it’s safe to say that there’s a good chance that your relationship will become more serious.

Of course, you should also consider the quality of these encounters. How is he behaving with you? What is your communication like and how much does he open up to you? If a man shares personal things and at the same time is interested in getting to know you more, then that’s a good sign.

However, you shouldn’t always wait for signs to tell you if he wants your relationship to grow into a relationship. The more daring ladies don’t shy away from asking the question outright. This is sometimes the best way to get a quick answer. If the man you are meeting is straightforward enough, he will give you an honest answer. Some gentlemen are intimidated by the quick progression of the relationship and even if they like you may back off after you ask them this question. So you need to carefully assess the person opposite you to choose the right approach to take.

Which behaviours of a man give away that he only wants sex?

When we look at the relationship between a man and a woman at an early stage, we can easily identify some behaviors that suggest that the man next to us is only interested in sex.

He is only interested in physical intimacy and doesn’t seem to be interested in building an emotional connection.
He only contacts you when he wants to meet you for sex and makes no effort to spend time with you outside of the bedroom.
He a shows no interest in your personal life and does not ask you about your hobbies, interests or goals.
He isn’t interested in meeting your friends and doesn’t invite you when you go out with his.
He may make suggestive comments or sexual innuendos in conversation, even if it is not appropriate or you have expressed no interest in this type of conversation.
He may not want to use protective gear or discuss safe sex practices, which may be a sign that he is not interested in your well-being or the potential consequences of his actions.

Although these signs are very indicative of a man’s attitude towards you, many ladies ignore and justify them. They think that this is normal at the beginning of the relationship and once the period of strong sexual desire starts to calm down, the man will open up more and the two will start to build an emotional bond.

The truth is that this will not happen. If a man has decided to only have a sexual relationship, then very rarely can he look at you as a potential serious partner.

If you feel unsure of the intentions of the man you are dating and feel uncomfortable with his behavior, it is important to set boundaries and prioritize your own well-being.

What indicates that he wants your relationship to evolve?
Some men send you mixed signals, but that doesn’t always mean their intentions towards you aren’t serious. It’s very likely that they don’t know how to show their interest in you, or they’re going through a period of recovery from a previous breakup and want to take baby steps. There are several ways to tell that the relationship may be more serious than just sexual:

Emotional connection: In a serious relationship, there is usually a deeper emotional connection beyond physical attraction. You and your partner should be able to share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences with each other in a meaningful way.

Communication: Communication is key in any relationship, but in a serious relationship it is especially important. You should feel comfortable talking to your partner about everything from your fears and insecurities to your goals and dreams. If the man you’re going out with predisposes you to open up to him and doesn’t judge your feelings and actions it’s a good sign that he’s serious.

Shared values: In a serious relationship, you and your partner should share common values and beliefs about what is important in life, such as family, career and personal development. Whether the relationship has a future depends largely on you, too. For this, you should seek to find out if you and the man you are going out with share common values about life. If he refuses to share his values and beliefs with you, it means that your relationship will not become more than a sexual one.

Time spent together: Spending quality time together is important in any relationship and especially for the beginning of it. No matter how much you are attracted to a man, if you want to have a serious relationship, you need to spend time outside of the bedroom. Have dinner together, go for walks, travel and make sure to communicate. You can most easily tell that he just wants sex if he has no desire for encounters outside the bedroom.

Planning for the Future: When a man includes you in his plans for the future it is more than indicative that he wants to have a serious relationship with you.

Remember that a serious relationship is built on trust, respect and mutual understanding. It’s important to take the time to get to know your partner, and to be honest with yourself about your feelings.

If you are dating a person who is not interested in getting to know your inner self and every date you have ends in sex, then this person is certainly not looking for a serious relationship.

What to do if he only wants sex?

I know it’s not pleasant when you find out that the man you’re seeing has no more than a sexual interest in you. Even if you’re not looking for a serious relationship right now, it’s not particularly pleasant for a man to just accept you as an object to satisfy his sexual needs.

Before you do anything you need to be clear about what you are getting out of this relationship and what you want. Ask yourself if this relationship is enjoyable for you and how much you are willing to accept. There are cases where ladies are also looking for a casual relationship and are willing to continue such a relationship as long as it is beneficial to them as well. If this is your case, you need to promise to yourself to put an end to it the moment you start hitting on this man. The truth is that a man who shows only sexual interest is unlikely to change his mind after a while.

If such a relationship suits you, then set some rules for yourself and for him. Don’t allow yourself to intrude into their personal lives and share anything more than turns.

The other, more common situation when a woman realizes that a man only wants a sexual relationship is for her to be offended by it and decide to end all contact with that gentleman. This is the right decision because she knows what she wants, what she needs and sees that this man cannot give it to her. If this is your case back off as quickly and abruptly as possible and leave this relationship behind.

It doesn’t always mean that the man you were with is not a good man, you just have to accept that you are not the woman for him and more importantly that he is not the man for you.

The mistake you can make is knowing that he just wants sex and believing that this will change and he will eventually fall in love with you. This only happens in the movies, and trying to make him fall in love will drain you emotionally. Better save those emotions for someone you will appreciate.

Sign up for the Invite Love Into Your Life program where you can learn more about how to have a healthy and mindful relationship.

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